Let them go because you are precious!

सिर्फ वही लोग जिंदगी में सफल होते हैं जो किसी के आगे गिड़गड़ाते नहीं हैं की रुक जाओ, जो नकारात्मक सोच रखने वाले लालची लोगो के आगे घुटने नहीं टेकते हैं. जो भी आपको दुत्कारता है उसे जाने दें, उसका पीछा न करें बल्कि जो स्थान वो आपकी जिंदगी खाली कर रहा है उसे अपनी दिल की खुशिओं से भर दें.

मेरे पति को उनके रिश्तेदारों ने यह बात समझाई की अपनी पत्नी से ज्यादा बात मत किया करो. उन्होंने मुझे अकेला छोड़ दिया और मैंने उस अकेलेपन में खूब लिखा, नए नए मित्र बनाये और कई किताबें पढ़ी. कितना बड़ा फायदा हुआ मेरा की मैंने खुद की एक किताब लिख डाली. सोचो कितना मुश्किल होता है एक किताब का छपना. पर मैंने कर दिखाया. क्यूंकि दिन रात जो पति गालियां देता रहता था उसने बात ही करना छोड़ दिया था. तो अचानक इतनी मानसिक शान्ति मिली की सृजनता उपजने लगी. नए विचार आने लगे. तो उपरवाले को धन्यवाद दो की तुमको कोई अकेला छोड़ के जाने को तैयार है. तुमहेतुम्हारा अपना समय मिलेगा और तुम जिंदगी में फिर कुछ कर दिखाने को अपने बूते पे अकेले खड़े हो.

जब लोग धोखा देते हैं तो वो उपरवाले का इशारा होता है की देखो ये भरोसे के लायक नहीं है. तो उस इसबारे को समझो और रोना बंद कर दो. जो एक बार तुम्हारे साथ बदतमीज़ी करे उसके साथ दोबारा समय बर्बाद मत करो. वो नहीं तुम्हारा खुद का समय कीमती है. तुम्हारा खुद का व्यक्तित्व ज्यादा मायने रखता है. तो आगे बढ़ो और कहो “जाओ” और दिल दिमाग के सारे दरवाज़े हर उस इंसान के लिए बंद कर दो जो कहे की मुझसे बात मत करो”. आगे बढ़ो और जिंदगी में कुछ कर दिखाओ. अपनी खुशियों के लिए जीना सीखो क्यूंकि वही ज्यादा कीमती और महत्वपूर्ण है.

I will always remain your Mummy not a friend! 

10

परसों स्कूल की पेरेंट्स टीचर मीटिंग मे बात स्कूल बस ड्राइवर के साथ एक बच्चे द्वारा किये दुर्वयवहार की हो रही थी. बच्चे के पिता ने बहुत तेज़ आवाज़ मे उल्टा ड्राइवर को ही डांट दिया की वो बच्चों के साथ दोस्त की तरह व्यवहार किया करे और वो खुद भी इस ही करते हैं ताकि बच्चे खुश रहे. मेरे बेटे ने मुझसे घर आके कहा की क्या ऐसा होता है? अगर ऐसा होता है तो मैं उसके साथ दोस्तों की तरह व्यहवहार क्यों नहीं करती? मैंने हँसके उसको कहा , मैं मम्मी की तरह समझाती हूँ तभी तो तुम्हारी ऐसी शिकायतें नहीं आतीं हैं.अगर तुम स्कूल बस ड्राइवर को दोस्त समझके चलती बस मे हंसी मजाक करोगे तो कितने ही लोगो की जान खतरे मे रहेगी? मेरा बेटा मुस्कुरा दिया.

मैं दोस्त कैसे हो जाउंगी? मैंने तो अपने बच्चों को जन्म दिया है. मैं उनसे बड़ी हूँ, उनकी देखभाल की है और उनके हर कदम को एक एक करके आगे चलते देखा है. दोस्त तो हम उम्र होते हैं, खट्टे मीठे होते हैं, नादान होते हैं और हर पल के साथी होते हैं. पर मम्मी की तरह घर पे बैठ बच्चों के स्कूल से लौटने का इंतज़ार थोड़ी न करते हैं?

अगर मैं आज दोस्त बन के उनकी छोटी छोटी गलतियों को नजरअंदाज करके उनके साथ हंसती बोलती रहूंगी तो मेरी बेटी को कौन सिखाएगा की फ्रॉक नीचे करके बैठना चाहिए या फिर ये की कोई भरी दोपहरी मे घर मे सामान की डिलीवरी देने आये तो फ़ौरन दरवाजा न खोलके पहले चेक करना चाहिए.मेरा बेटा अभी कुछ दिनों पहले फेसबुक पे अपने दोस्तों से बातें कर रहा था और मैंने उसकी क्लासमेट का फोटो देखा. सारे बच्चे उसके मजाक उड़ा रहे थे पर मैंने अपने बेटे को समझाया की इस तरह का फोटो अगर तुम्हारी बहन पोस्ट करेगी तो तुमको कैसा लगेगा?

दिक्कत बच्चों का दोस्त बनने मे नहीं है, दिक्कत इस बात मे है की हम दोस्त बनके माता पिता बनना भूल गए हैं. एक उम्र होती है जब बच्चे भटकने लगते हैं और माता पिता दोस्त बनके दूर खड़े हो जाते हैं. ये काफी बुरा दौर होता है और ख़ास कर उन बच्चों के लिए जिनके पास कामकाजी माता पिता का कमाया बेहिसाब पैसा होता है, रोज़ नए दोस्त होते हैं पर अच्छी बुरी बात समझाने वाला कोई नहीं होता.

हम माता पिता जो बात सख्ती से, प्यार से और नियम से बच्चों को बड़े होने तक सिखा सकते हैं वो दुनिया का कोई स्कूल या दोस्त नहीं सिखा सकता.इसीलिए हमारा हमेशा माता पिता होना ज्यादा जरुरी है क्योंकि हमारा अनुभव हर कदम पे हमारे बच्चों के लिए जरुरी होता है. जिंदगी मे मौजमस्ती करने के लिए हमउम्र दोस्त तो हर कदम पे मिलेंगे पर सच्चा अनुभव और दिल से उनका हमेशा भला चाहने वाले माता पिता हमेशा साथ रहेंगे तो उनकी जिंदगी और आसान हो जाती है.

इसीलिए तो मेरा बेटा भी कहता है मुझसे की मम्मी मुझको स्कूल मे कोई भी परेशानी होती है तो मैं घबराता नहीं हूँ क्योंकि आप तो घर पे उस बात को सॉल्व करने मे हेल्प कर ही दोगी, दोस्त तो और परेशान कर देते हैं. घर से बाहर लड़कियों के साथ कैसा बर्ताव करना है, स्कूल बस ड्राइवर को आदर देना हो या फिर स्कूल टीचर्स का कहा मानना हो हर बात मेरा बेटा अच्छे से जानता है. मैंने माँ बनके सिखाया है उसको. मेरी बेटी को पता है की हर स्कूल टीचर पहले सुबह उठके अपने घर का काम निबटाती है और फिर स्कूल आके इतने सारे बच्चों को संभालती है इसीलिए उनको तंग नहीं करना चाहिए.

बच्चे बड़े होते हैं,उनके अंदर कितने ही शारीरिक और मानसिक बदलाव होते हैं पर मैंने देखा है की कितने ही माता पिता ये कहके ध्यान नहीं देते की आजकल तो गूगल पे कितनी कुछ ज्ञान की बातें बच्चे खुद ही पढ़ लेते हैं. सही कहते हैं पर क्या आपका बच्चा उनको सही मायने मे सीख पाता है?क्या उसका मासूम मन जिंदगी की बड़ी समस्याओं को झेलने मे सफल होने लायक तैयार हो पाता है?

इसीलिए मैं अपने बच्चों को दोस्त बनके कुछ नहीं सीखना या फिर सिखाना चाहती हूँ . मैं तो अधिकार से और पूरे सच्चे दिल से उनको जिंदगी भर यही बताती रहूंगी की क्या गलत है और क्या सही. मुझे पता है की अगर मैं दोस्त बन के उनसे दूर हो गयी तो फिर उनको गलत बातें सिखाने के लिए पूरी दुनिया मे बहुत लोग हैं जिनको मैं मौका नहीं देना चाहती.

आज मेरी डांट फटकार शायद मेरे दोनों बच्चों को बुरी लगे पर एक दिन वो इस बात की कदर करेंगे पर कम से कम मुझको भला बुरा तो नहीं कहेंगे की दोस्त बनके मैंने उनको अकेले भटकने के लिए छोड़ दिया या फिर उनकी बुरी बातों पे उनको समझाया क्यों नहीं. वो अभी छोटे हैं पर मैं तो बड़ी हूँ और उनकी दोस्त नहीं मम्मी हूँ. है न?

10 Things Idli teach us.


Idli is South Indian steamed rice dumpling which is made from a mix of rice and lentils along with little addition of salt, fenugreek seeds and boiled rice too. It is considered as one of the most health beneficial food on Earth.

Our food habits teaches us a lot if followed by ancient food making practices so is Idli which teaches us few basics of life like ~
1- Be simple.Less clutter less problems in life to face.
2- Be filling.Do your job by full heart like Idli fills tummy always.
3- Be light. Don’t carry extra baggage of useless emotions. Just keep your mind light and stress free.
4- Be healthy. Follow your health routine.Don’t take risks for your life.
5- More steamed more good. Keep pushing out the negatives out of your mind by following a healthy n happy life.
6- Don’t demand much efforts from others. Keep your requirements from life very simple. 
7- Be open to follow in good steps just like Idli.It can go very well with anything i.e. sugar, Nutella, sambhar, chutneys, ghee or poddi powders.Isnt it?
8- Be fresh. Always try to be fresh in the morning and evening so that people around can feel the energy of your presence just like fresh idlis make happy any one.
9- Be your own mould. Develop your own personality.Keep learning to reach new horizons in careers.
10- Be adaptive. Like people make idlis in several form like fried idlies or ghee dipped or vegetable idlis or rava idlis.Be adaptive to new thoughts. 
Be always happy like a person who is satisfied and happy after having fresh steaming hot idlis. 

Image courtesy : Google

Five magical spices blends from the Indian kitchens. 

Basically these blends I am going to talk about are very ancient but yes now a days when cooking is quite popular on food blogs I feel that there is no harm in sharing what we learned in our own kitchen after spending so many years.I was walking in the morning on road and felt that there are few blends which makes my cooking more magical.So thought of sharing here too.

1- Bihar blend – It consists whole dry coriander,whole dry red chilies and garlic.You need to soak 1 cup of each together for 2-3 hours in lukewarm water and than grind it well with half cup normal water.Now mix in some salt and turmeric powder too and use it as marination for chicken, fish or potatoes and frill/fry/deep fry/roast them or use it in gravies by frying in little oil to make them heavenly.I use it some times in making kadhis even. Lot many times I have fried this blend into mustard oil with salt to fry boiled potatoes chunks to get great snack too.Or u can rub this blend in blanched cauliflower or shredded cabbage pcs to grill for a great snack too. just experiment with it a lot.You will be happy to find the amazing results with garlic flavor. Once I made pizza base with this and got too many praises of desi pizza taste.

2- Hariyali blend – This is one of the most loved blend for me as it works very well with tikkas, biryanis and raitas(flavored curds). This contains fresh green mint, fresh green coriander and green chillies. Trust me it works great if you experiment with it little by little. It creates last minute magic in fried boiled potatoes, salads or curds. You can try it mixing in briyanis too.But if people around like spicy food than only try it. But yes if you blend it with cream salt and garlic you can get amazing fish tikka, chicken tikka or paneer tikkas. Yes we are talking about those real spicy green chilies not capsicum or tasteless green chilies. Please don’t add those.
3- Shahi blend – I love the aroma of this blend so much that I never make any paneer dish without it. Paneer lababdar qbecomes so good with it and if it is added to simple dals or curries or biryanis they become royal with its flavor. It consists cloves, green cardamom and mace. While making suji(semolina) halwa sometimes I add a pinch of this in desi ghee prior to suji(semolina) frying and it becomes so fragrant that very moment. Recently I made some spiced almonds and I tried this blend in those too.Results were so amazing and satsfying.But yes basically I use it for pulaos, paneers and baking a lot.A pinch of this blend makes cookies or cakes much fragrant. Lot many times for a flavour change I add them in rice pudding (chawal ki kheer) too while boiling the milk. But keep a strong control over using them as these spices are very warm to use together.


4- Dil pasand blend – It is a quick mix on the spot of rose water, saffron and cinnamon powder which makes your pulaos, puddings, sweets and various mutton dishes so dreamy that I can bet if a great cook know how to use them perfectly in proportions he can do wonders in kitchen. They all work great together. Mix them and sprinkle over biryani while closing the lid or add them in dash while giving last stir to rice puddings or cake batter. Th is work wonders in carrot cake too.Just try it some time in tarts or cheesecakes or white rasgullas batter.You will love it.I have tried this blend in making jalebis and gulabjamuns too.Works very well by giving them great aroma.

5- Dhaba blend – This is a mix of black cardamom, star anise and nutmeg. Can make your palak paneer amazing, jaw dropping kind of choley or chicken curry like true dhaba style. If you really need a great chicken curry than marinate chicken pieces with Bihar blend (mentioned above, fry them and add this one while making gravy and check the taste. It rocks. It is actually one of the great blend if you are not using onions in a dish.Makes them amazingly tasty and aromatic. 


* Green cardamom and black cardamom I grind with covers on in good grinder into finest powder. I dont throw their covers(chilka)

Keep experimenting.Happy cooking!

12 Points to learn before joining a birthday party.


When you attend a party specially little kids birthday party as family either you create mess with others for the host or you behave good and extend a happy helping hand to organize and celebrate the moment. Isn’t it.Why but all are not like that?Why people get drunk at late night parties even though they are with families?

I hope we can move a step forward to learn few things before attending party next time! We can teach basic things to our kids so that lot many hassles for the party host parents can be less hectic.
1- Please do not waste food. Take in plate half of what you think you can eat. Now a days everything comes very expensive. If food is pre-served and packed than have it in sharing basis than open other plate.
2- Avoid creating mess by taking less drinks in glasses.Throw the glasses in the garbage bin only.
3- Do not shout, argue or get over excited.Just keep calm for the first half an hour to keep the party host calm too.
4- If you or your kid has to perform than rehearsal it at home. Do not pressurize your kid to perform all of the sudden.May be he or she is not mentally prepared.I really feel bad myself when I see parents try to drag or shout at their kid to do the thing all of sudden.
5- If the cake is big or small, whatever please control yourself from indulging too much or asking for several helpings.May be your party host is saving it for some late comers or to distribute to few others.
6- Balloons, confetti or caps. Do not be greedy to collect a lot. may be lot many people are watching you silently doing this.
7- Do not open return gifts at host place. Be patience and wait for reaching back home.
8- Do not stay back long by chatting. Try to move out first to show others a way as sign.
9- Do not pressurize the host to start the dinner or lunch as soon as possible. If they are delaying it too much than only gently remind them.Lot many times they get confused and things get delayed.
10- After coming back to home send a thank you note with appreciation of their efforts. It helps and boost the moods of tired hosts.
11- If you see host is in mess or confusion. Get up and start working with them to control the things.Lot many times over excited kids create so much confusions.So first calm down the kids with small game or performance.
12- If you are having plans to take some food to home for some family member than carry your own small plastic containers.
Happy partying!

10 Reasons every kid should pray and meditate everyday!


Since my childhood I have two best friends. One is Sikh and other one is Muslim. I am a Hindu. We three grew up seeing each other following our religions with great respect. When I see three of us I found ourselves more compassionate and helping rather than those who are actually selfish people. Trust me those who never try to follow a routine to pray or meditate are more stressed and tensed always.I found several reasons that our coming generations should follow the prayer or meditate or religious practices with more enthusiasm on regular basis so that they can be less selfish and less stressed.

I did a little research online and personally and found that there are numbers of benefits of praying regularly. So thought of writing up those things in a short essay to reach more people with a point that kids should pray and meditate more.

1- Early morning rituals are beneficial – Yes it is a strong point for early childhood. The moment kids start following early morning regime their days become more balanced and creative.They feel less lethargic and more curious all the day. Becoz not a single religion or practice says that you gt up at 10 am and perform rituals at 12 noon. Getting up early, cleaning and washing yourself means kids will feel more responsible to follow you and your routine.It creates a sense of being grown up too.

2- Being clean always is good – Once kids start early morning prayers and religious rituals they start noticing that whatever belongs to God needs clean hand and pure heart. They become less naughty or mischievous. They also start taking care of surroundings being clean always.

3- Physical fitness – Getting early means kids get more time to follow some good exercise or home work. They will get time to pay some attention to their body like getting a nice massage from parents or going out for a walk with grand parents or other family members. Nobody takes a sleeping kid to walks or part but a clean happy chirpy kid is always welcomed by all. Isn’t it?

4- Concentration in studies – Kids who pray regularly are always more energetic and less stressed during the exams. Praying heals them from daily stress and gives them internal peace in heart that they are connected with the almighty or a supreme power. They became more focused in the studies and face life obstacles in stronger way always.

5- Respecting society – Ever saw that small city kids are more obedient and respects the local culture and values rather than those who are residents of bigger cities or metros?It is obvious because being from small cities these kids are much more influenced from religious practices, prayers and meditation things. They get more opportunities to visit religious places rather than those kids who live in big cities or abroad.

6- Obedient towards adults advises – Once kids start religious practices or prayers or meditation they become more peaceful at heart and polite in behave. They tend to follow what adults suggest them on daily basis.Praying kids start differentiating between good and wrong because they become more patience at heart and mind.Because they are stress free always.

7- Social harmony – Not a single religion on this earth teaches manipulation of the other religion.Kids become more progressive and more tolerant after start praying in .They start learning early age that how important is own peace and harmony as well as others harmony too. They meditate and realize at an early age that society is full of different religions and practices.We should respect each other’s sentiments.
8- Family connectivity – Praying together lot many times gives a mental security and more bonding in between.This is a reason that joint family kids are more tolerant, happy heart and caring always.It is family bonding during the religious practices and praying together which controls every kids all in all progress of character.It is very important thing.Even if you have nuclear family still insist on praying together once a day.
9- Career orientation – Kids who pray or meditate regularly are more confident and smart rather than those who actually don’t have any kind of systematic beliefs in life. Kids who excel a lot in life are actually more diversified and devoted for following a regular regime to move ahead and high always.
10- World peace – The moment kids know that how important is others religion as well as theirs they become more caring and sharing citizens.They lead the society towards more charity works because they see doing their parents same from their early childhood.They do what they are taught from childhood to give back to society more through religious charities lot many times.It really matters.

Take your kids to religious charity programs, social meditation programs and inspire them to pray every day.This will help them a lot in living a progressive happy and healthy life.May be we are more sick and lonely because we are praying less now a days.

Happy praying!

30 Things lot many Indian apartment neighbors wish to tell each other.


 1- We switch on the lights at my main door every evening but you do it rarely. If we both fix week or month and remind each other it will be a great thing.

2- Keep your door bit open if you are expecting lot of guests for dinner tonight may be my kids r studying or watching TV or May be we r lonely couple sleeping early.

3- If you are new than please note down the closest landmarks to your building and exact number of your flat n floor because your visitors, vendors and courier persons are knocking my door actually.

4- Husband wife shouting fights gives a negative impressions and quarrelsome kids too. I know how sober you behave in lift with me but I still remember last night weeping n crying you had in your family. Keep your tones n volume low.

5- Your kids love muddy shoes and clothes but I don’t so common passage should be clean always.

6- If we both share a small expense for building cleaner boy, our surroundings will be more cleaner.

7- If you wish to borrow anything please call me on phone first better than ring my doorbell. Would u like me to open door in towel or stinking hair dye on my head? Or may be I m in meditation or yoga.

8- Taste the dish before you send it to my house. If you can’t eat it than how can me and my family will eat it? I noticed the watermelon you send was outer side of fruit.

9- Please can u check with us if we are vegetarians or non vegetarians before sending anything on festivals. We love sweets indeed but we are Jains too so no biryani or kebabs please.

10-I am good heart with you and you too with me doesn’t means that I m ready to feed your dog behind your three months vacations or water your plants even. I have my own life too.

11- We spend 6 months in India and six months in our kids place in Delhi or Chennai or USA doesn’t means that we will carry 10-15 kgs goods for u in our return flights. So please don’t ask us to buy gold diamonds or expensive gadgets or spices or sweets.

12- We are newly married couple and we hate when your hubby drops in for long chats or staring my wife or your wife drops in to teach her how to keep household perfectly for long hours.

13- I m a working woman and my kids need my time in the evening so please don’t ask me to listen whole building stories or inquire about my post salary and savings etc. My mother in law never did so please you also not better bother me.

14- You have small kids and I do have so all the time your kids playing at my place is not fair. Please invite my kids too to your place.

15- If my kids wearing something less fancy at a common birthday party than please don’t point this to other neighbors. They will inform me very soon what you said.

16-If we recently moved in than please help us, inquire about us and keep your sweet mouth closed about us to others. Because after few months everything is going to come back to us whatever you may spread about us.

17- We share common maids but please don’t ask her my menu or my hubby’s habits. She is telling me all this with your inside details to get the benefits from both of us.

18- Sorry I have my own 24 hours maid doesn’t give u an impression that I m avoiding u it is simple that I don’t want to have a common servant and I want a help around me all the time.

19- I have my own style of wearing heavy embroidery saris, light chiffon, silks or western wear. I have to do nothing what way your husband looking at me. This is your own problem.

20- Toys are toys so if we have same aged kids so pl don’t make fuss about having expensive or cheap toys. One day we both will give them away.

21- We both have our own families so better not back bite to my relatives in park or lift and each other house. They will come and go back but you are ruining our daily routine of happiness.

22- You going out and handling over the keys to your main door to me. Are you sure am not going out too? May be I have my own plans.

23- You have big dog! Ok than please hire a trainer too to teach him to not to harm society kids. It may be a bit expensive but it is better than shelling out thousands if he harms any of kids later.

24-Sharing common pool doesn’t means that your kids will use entire season my kids sunscreen or allergy cream as taken for granted. I am quite but I notice it.

25- My 24 color sketches set is missing few. I am regular to your house and I saw them in your kids pencil box. Can u please ask them to return it?

26- Please don’t pressurize me to vote for your choice person in Society elections.

27- Yes we do have expensive things in our house but that is none of your business to count in our money or if we have lesser expensive things so u will point that too.

28- My Mom in law had a surgery doesn’t mean that you spread the news and force 26-27 families to drop in my house to say her hello. She needs rest.

29- Please don’t shout my name for cooking something in society party arrangements without my acceptance. Dessert for 60-70 people cost a lot and so do anything else. I know you put dessert in my name and yours to bring chapattis.

30- Stay away at a limited distance and wait for my call.We both are human being and let us treat each other like that only.

10 Reasons to plan pregnancy before 28 years age!


Shocked? Yes! Be shocked and be surprised too in the coming sentences.But yes this post is not related to those who live with parents or filthy riches.

This post is basically for those women who are crossing 30 plus, not married or married but not ready to give birth. My sincere advise.Please don’t do that. And I have solid reasons for that.

1- Your own body – Your whole body is going through a new process of developing something and taking several kinds of pains.than birth happens and again if you are working you have to struggle very hard to get back in shape. Or if you are a housewife again your whole world of eating and drinking changes within 9 months. You body is perfect 23-24-25 years to do the child birth but the moment you cross 28 years your own body is not ready for so many changes and finally it is you who is going to face all kind of major hormonal changes.Not a single person can help you.

2- Mental balances – At much younger age you are ready to adopt so many changes because you are in stages of learning. But first you get married after 28 years, already struggling to adopt new family traditions and food habits than baby happens too. Now you are in new family, having a new person in tummy and eating what is advised by doctor.Every single things requires a great balance.Listening to this, doing that and thinking something else. Your job needs attention, husband needs love and care, new family wishes to keep you around a lot but parents want everything about you to know too. Now imagine yourself how much a single person is answerable to in one single day. Yes I have not included your own hormonal changes, mood swings, body related problems and wardrobes till now.

3- Responsibility – Yup! It is not a pair of shoulders you have to share the responsibility.Not a single person in world is going to help you if you are sleeping in night an baby starts crying.You are a mother and it is your duty to feed the baby. Until and unless you have a devoted nanny like Royal or rich families.Giving birth to a baby is much easier task when you are much younger because your parents and in laws are ready to help you. They feel like kids are out of college and not experienced. But the moment girl crosses 28 years plus age they also start living comfortable life and same happens with boys parents too.New baby information can only excites them but parents actually start aging and feel like “Oh now a days every thing comes ready made, go n buy”.But yes mothers love and care is your part. Pregnancy follows a strict diet routine, self care for nine months, pre delivery hormonal changes than post pregnancy mental challenges. You will sit in bed and all world stands around you with face towards other directions.

4- Calculate the time – Like our own mothers we actually don’t have any kind of upbringing without televisions or internet. In those everything was almost pure. We are from a different kind of world with pollution and adulterated food.So when you give birth at the age of 28 plus years by the time your baby is a grown up kids in 7th or 8th and need to be in serious studies you will be around 42 years, tired with job routine or house chores.You will find difficult to get out of the bed early morning at 4 o clock to get your kid study before exams at 7.30 am.And yes again the point of responsibility pops in.As still in Indian families majority believes in mother’s part in studies. So if you are planning to give birth at 35 years think again. It is not a matter of giving or not giving birth. It is a matter of how much responsibility you can carry and what your kid will go through if you will not be able to do according to his demands.

5- Generation gap – I am 42 years and I am not able to check several things my son is learning day by day in the world of internet.One moment he is on pinterest searching for chemistry salts and by the evening he is completing a paper gun he learnt from youtube.com.It is a different kind of multitasking generation because their knowledge area as well as learning area is bigger than ours. They have a different world where they know that who is actually real master of cooking and it is not Gordon Ramsay.They know well that what is the basic difference between Xbox and PS4. 

6- Demand and supply – It is kind of cheating on baby by giving him birth after a certain age. Kids with younger parents are always more active and get continuous companionship what much older parents are not able to give actually. Until and unless you the mother is ready to leave your lucrative job and giving full time to kids. Being mother is a full time job. It demands every single moment attention. Now a days when houseboys or nursery teachers are molesting small babies even it makes mother’s life more tougher. Parenting needs mother’s full time 24 hours and every single second of those 24 hours. We have more bullying kids around to misbehave with classmates and neighbors kids because either parents are working and not ready to pay attention or they have deep up bringing insecurities. In house you will not realize it but if you are over aged parents and your kid go out to find that a much younger parent is cycling with his kid, your kid will come back home very frustrated.

7- Pampering and expenses – To conceal the age gap, lack of time and coordination with kids demand it is maximum time over aged parents who pamper their kids beyond the limits. This all makes a social pressure on other kids of society who’s parents are much younger and going through job settlements or life settlements like house loans or car loans. So by getting a baby in over age category means people are creating unknown competition and fearful atmosphere among st the kids too unknowingly. Nobody knows it so deep but being a mother I know it very well when I see a very late born only child of super rich working parents getting Iphone6s but his parents are not ready to celebrate his birthday because they are traveling for official purposes. So you should be ready for this deep thought that you want kid and when.

8- Male’s frustrations – Husband’s are maximum time managing household bills, office routines as well as parents care too. Lot many time boys get separated immediately after marriages because of wives and the moment baby comes they get separated from wives too. Physically they are there always but not emotionally they are there.They are counting the expenses, facing job problems and going through physical changes too. As the girl they got married is now super moody and not the same girl they got married. Young boys get benefits because young girls recover fast and with the help of family they create a hollow around them being young innocent mother. But older girls feel much more difficulties being into new family, without much support from boys family lot many times and own parents are now quite old too to take much stress. Finally now it is boy’s turn to feel the heat of being a massively burden person of the family.Because he is coming back to home without much attention towards him and a list of immediate requirements everyday. Baby’s medical treatments and wife’s diet. Not so easy but yes it only creates a big vacuum in relationships day by day. Every single day there is a new frustration for him. Younger boys being father get more support from fathers and in laws too. 

9- Educational acceptances – Yup having kids at younger ages means kids learn along with their parents. Falls, rises, promotions and sacrifices. But settled and over aged parents usually have their set mindsets being experienced and this is how the kids also grew up with set mentality.This creates a basic conflict with their social counterparts. Kids with younger parents see these kids as more complicated and more political ones. Kids with mature upbringing have usual tendency to bully those kids with younger parents upbringing and are not ready to accept their facts. For example mature parents kids come with a mindset that this kind of way gets more marks but much younger parents are always open to new kind of education system or tactics. even lot many parents enroll themselves with educational programs to upgrade them too. Over aged parents and working parents are less interested in attending ptms too. While younger aged parents have more tendency to attend the meetings. They are always more eager to accept the faults of the kids. So lot many times it is stress with comes as extra baggage to poor teachers.

10- Planned calculations – You need to calculate few things to finalize your family structure as early as you can. i.e.,

1- Your age at the time of child birth v/s your age at your kids graduation.

2- Your own physical risk factor for child birth related complications as just in case anything happens and you need minimum 2-4 years for treatments.

3- Your parental support as well as in laws support availability at the time of child birth.

4- Your financial capabilities to spend in heavily expensive child birth complication treatments if you are planning a kid after 30+ years.

5- Your own physical and psychological capabilities.I am simplifying things for you by writing this article. If you are not ready to understand the basic Indian social structure that is actually basic requirement for a child birth than no body in this whole world can help you later. 

6- Calculate the age gap you wish to keep in between two kids. If you are giving birth at or after 30 years than what age gap you can best give?You may end up with a lonely child because you will feel that it is a very tiring and time consuming liability. So if you plan pregnancy after 22 years to 28 years in between you will be having a balanced family of two kids and that too very happily.

Lot many Indian marriage systems allow to get married to close blood related cousins which makes things more complicated. And also please don’t go to people sayings that God will take care. Bringing a baby after 28-30 years of age is actually torturing yourself, coming years of dense parenting and putting growing up kid’s mental health in risk too by pampering for what you are not able to give him as much younger parent.

I urge you to read this article two times to understand that what I am trying to say actually. And also don’t go by those medical researches and advertisements that a women at 40 years gave birth to own child. We all are equal. We all will leave this planet one day. So if you are planning for a late birth please adopt a kid for a much better health and life rather than taking on several health complications and spending money uselessly.

All the best!

Image courtesy – Mr. Google

I put a full stop to help working women around! 


Yup, I stopped working two weeks back and my life is back to be free maid to my working neighbors. Husband and wife working and they have full time maid at home but still their list of never ending demands started back and that too shamelessly.
I have my own life and chores to do. OK? But no they dont care if I have plans to take long naps or plans to go out. And yes one single NO means you are a non cooperative movement in yourself. Why there is no law for such people that you can’t ask for more than two favors a month from your neighbor?LOl…such a great idea!Wow my imagination’s height!
Than I started discussing with my other home maker friends and found that they all are facing same kind of small or big issues with their working couple neighbors too. And trust me it is all thankless work.Working couples take is as granted. Not all but yes lot many do this and never feel ashamed at all.
1- Water my plants. ( Why are you keeping plants if you have no systematic life)?
2- Check on my pet (It includes feeding him, taking him out for strolls too).
3- Collect my groceries( It includes paying the delivery guy and keeping milk, bread and butter in my own fridge too) and also your 3-4 newspapers.
4- Find me maid (my neighbor feels I m a housewife cum free HR Manager to take interviews to explain duties and calculate salary in proportion to the work)
5- Let my relative visit by early morning flight but he / she can wait at your place for 7-8 hours for my return to home (includes tea coffee snacks and food plus using of my toilets as well as bed too).
6- Get my house clean by your maid(She will pay my maid for sure but those precious noon time nap moments you sucked out of my life?)
7- Keep my kids – It should be first point but yes I love kids a lot so hardly matters (But last time your kid had terrible cough due to that terrible food u made in hurry but you asked him “You had something in neighbor’s house? Your kid told me).Your kid slipped in school, he came back home, injured n unexpectedly early and I am the one who is keeping him.
8- Give food for my husband because you are coming late and he is at home in high fever or some fractured leg or some other problems and can’t order or move out of bed.(I am not counting those negative remarks that why I put extra butter in food to impress your husband).
9- Collect my courier – cash on delivery (Pay him and than keep reminding you like beggar to return the money I paid).
10- Let my lonely parents sit and pass time with you (Either your parents(In laws) have long stories too tell or your back biting or your request t teach them some computer but yes I had plans to chat for long with my relatives, all in water now).
Let me live my life plsssssss!

धूप में पिघलती संतरे वाली आइसक्रीम सा फ़ेस्बुक !


कभी इमली की चटखार सी फ़ेस्बुक

ताजे ठन्डे पानी की फुहार सी फ़ेस्बुक

मिट्टी की सोन्धी महक सी फ़ेस्बुक

तो दादी की आँखो की झुर्री सी फ़ेस्बुक

नए चमकती चूड़ीयों सी खनकती फ़ेस्बुक

बच्चों के बचपने सी खिलखिलाती फ़ेस्बुक

टूटी चप्पल से रिश्तों को सँवारती फ़ेस्बुक 

सुबह की बची कटोरा भर मैग्गी सी फ़ेस्बुक

बहन के नख़रे पे भाई की मनुहार सी फ़ेस्बुक 

कभी बारिश से धुले पुराने पौधे सी फ़ेस्बुक

होम्वर्क पूरा होने की लम्बी साँस सी फ़ेस्बुक 

दाल के तीखे छौंक की ख़ुशबू सी फ़ेस्बुक 

थके पैर दबाके निकली आह सी फ़ेस्बुक

किसी पुराने को देख आती हँसी सी फ़ेस्बुक 

नन्हें बच्चे की नींद की मुस्कान सी फ़ेस्बुक

दादी की गरम मुलायम हथेली सी फ़ेस्बुक 

कभी अदरक की मीठी चाय सी फ़ेस्बुक 

अनजान की आँखों की चमक सी फ़ेस्बुक 

दोस्तों के समय से बदलते चेहरों सी फ़ेस्बुक 

करारे गरम समोसे की ख़ुशबू सी फ़ेस्बुक 

कभी इमरती की टपकती चाशनी सी फ़ेस्बुक

चने की महकती गरम कोण सी फ़ेस्बुक 

बरसात की ठंडी पहली बयार सी फ़ेस्बुक 

ग्लास में बची आख़िरी कुछ बूँदो सी फ़ेस्बुक

हथेली पे चंद मूँगफली की दानों सी फ़ेस्बुक

एयरपोर्ट पे पापा की आँखों की चमक सा फेसबुक 


जो लोग दूर देशों में अपनों से दूर फेसबुक के सहारे जिंदगी बिता रहे हैं, उन सभी लोगों को समर्पित!