Image courtesy – Mr. Google🙏🏼
Yup! I got experience and that is why I am writing this article. I can walk out of this abusive marriage any moment but I know that my kids are very young and at this crucial time of their sincere studies I can give them sense of stability by keeping my quite on my highly abusive husband.
1- Painting you black – This is a very first habit of my husband who keeps every single blame on me. Even if it belongs to Sun, Moon and Stars. He loves painting me black. If he is wearing a rotten several years old cotton pyjama which is unrepairable it is my fault. He is a millionaire and can buy a good one but no he will not buy. And I am responsible. How come? He got no answer for this question.
2- You may be dying but his TV is more important – I was doing evening prayer and a full match box burnt in my right hand. I was in deep pain or burns and was running here n there. My both kids were checking books and googling remedies but the great husband was sitting quietly and watching TV. Finally I ran to pharmacy with my hand dipped in ice filled bowl for some remedy. Whole night I was in lounge couch with my hand dipped in a ice cold water bowl but not a single time he came to ask "how are you doing"?.
3- His all bad sufferings because of you – If he gets allergies or viral fever it is because of me. If his tummy is upset it is because of me and if his eyes are red with over using the ages old Ipad it is also because of me. His simple excuse is that you use perfume. Ok! Fine! But he is into senior position and works whole day with loads of women in office. How come he never gets allergies from there? 8 years and no answer to me for that query.
4- High end restaurants means highly abusive – So he is ok with cheap restaurants where he feel quite comfortable but the moment he steps in high end restaurants he starts abusing waiters and managers uselessly. He actually starts bullying the staff working there. So it is like murdering the whole environment so that you are not able to ask for anything more in dining. Nice trick to divert your helpless family's mind.
5- Pay attention to what is free n important – Taking out faults in teachers, books and studies is best thing to bully wife and kids. Because home tuitions or extra curricular activities cost a lot so better start accusations, abuses and high tones so that every single person in family and relatives feel that you are most education caring person because you are very hardworking and successful. Who keeps kids at study table for 14 hours a day without snacks, outings or not allowing random talks even?
6- Elope from the scene when expenses are required – So this is actually prime habit of such abusive husbands. I go India every year and stay at my relatives places because he got no house for us. He buy us tickets because his company pays. After that he never asks if kids or me need anything or single strand of money? He simply elopes. He just denies his existence in our life totally. So we are in flight on the way to India at our own for our expenses. But yes he will spend if he feels you are making escaping plans from situations or from him. He will start spending a bit with great pain, visible to you.
7- If it is free I will get you bit of it – If anything is free in company seminars or conferences he will get one or two tiny things and rest big things he sells or hide in a universal black hole. If food is free in the airport lounges he will force whole family to fill the backpacks with tonnes of food and cold drinks.
8- I am weirdly honest – Yup he is damn honest to his own job. Very hard working because he knows that his earnings get him all respect from the society. He can accuse female family members or can blow nose in public because he is rich. So he can do whatever he wants. So he is very highly honest with rich relatives and useful relatives who work for him for free. He keeps repeating that relatives are thing of emotional blackmailing for getting things done.
9- Smiles are expensive and for rich people only – So if you are a poor relative he will never ever smile at you. What if he smiles and you may ask for something? So better stay serious and highly abusive. But if you need some help from them that time play the emotional card "once we were so poor too" & " you know how much I struggled".
10- Last but most important "keep abusing and thrashing" – It saves a lot of money when you create rifts in family. Keep back biting to kids about their mother and to mother about kids. So finally after a while kids know well you are a cheating and abusive father and mommy also comes to know that you are not willing to spend a single dime being idiotic miser so developing politics in the family uselessly. Being diplomatic means you will save a lot of money as people start spending time in gossips instead of being creative.