This article comes from my own deep heart! It includes my deepest emotions of suffering so highly in my life. I am writing this article to guide you to not to do same mistake which I did in my relationships. I did nothing of these and my second relationship turned into live nightmare.(Big thanks to backbiters, past diggers and most idiotic bunch of relatives too). But when I started taking care these below mentioned things I found MYSELF as myself back and more stressfree. So please do read this article.Society is always like "stepmother did this" but they never think that what stepkids or second husband did actually to a woman who agreed to hold a second house and others kids as hers forever. So please hold your emotions back and run the household like a true happy heart person. All the best👍🏻
1- Read the minds – Initially just keep yourself aside and wait. Check the tiny manners of step kids. They are helpful, thankful and warm or rude, thankless and backbiters?
2- Never copy their birth mothers – Humble request to you all reading this article. Whatever your step kids praise or remember about their birth mothers just keep yourself away from THAT image and personality. "SHE was herself and you better remain yourself". Do not change your habits.
3- Spend wisely – All the best things ate free in this world. Money can not buy manners, happiness, love, care or true passion for motherly care. Not a single penny. You will repent badly later or you will be blamed in the worst way for spoiling the step kids. Your choice.
4- Try not to rule – You are second person in the step kids life so give them reason to follow your advices. Never order them to do something just ask for help and use the words "Can we"? It makes a big difference and they will be happy to do the chores for you or for themselves. If they retaliate just back off. Just keep respecting new household and its members by heart.
5- Stay away – If you are not asked for anything in between father and step kids do not intervene with your thoughts. Go to other room and focus on your own things. Just walk away from every such thing. This will make you calmer person and let them get the hint that you are feeling like an outsider.
6- Make and show your rules – Rules like "pls do not touch me unwanted" if your step kids are adult, "if you need money ask your father or if I am giving tell your father", "if you do not like the food I made tell ME clearly rather than backbiting to your father" type of simple things will make your life easier a lot. They might feel awkward but it will save you lot of mental stress later. Keep showing the rules guide continuously.
7- Avoid backlog – Never ask for first lady's things like her clothes or jewels. Stay focused on your own things and new household. Never ask about her, dig about her and ignore every single thing talked about her. Keep high respect for her in your mind and heart. Always. Show happy feelings for the first one. It will soothe your own mind.
Happy hugs for you! We the step moms are superwomen!