1. The “Grand Opening”: Using Wealth as a Bait
In the initial stages of a relationship, a narcissist often uses extravagant spending as a tool for “Love Bombing.” In the Indian context, this might manifest as high-end dinners at 5-star hotels, surprise designer gifts, or over-the-top gestures that feel like a Bollywood movie. This isn’t about generosity; it’s about establishing dominance and creating a “debt” that you can never fully repay.
2. Financial Gaslighting and the “Breadwinner” Ego
Many narcissists lean into traditional patriarchal roles to exert control. They may insist on paying for everything to make you financially dependent, only to later use that spending as a weapon during arguments. You’ll hear phrases like, “After everything I’ve bought for you, how can you be so ungrateful?” This turns a relationship into a transactional contract rather than a partnership.
3. The Public Image vs. Private Reality
Indian narcissists are often hyper-fixated on Log Kya Kahenge (What will people say?). They will spend lavishly in front of friends and family to maintain the image of the “Perfect Provider” or the “Generous Partner.” However, behind closed doors, they may be tight-fisted, critical of your personal spending, or even financially abusive, hiding the true state of their finances to keep you off-balance.
4. The Devaluation: From Tiffanys to Tightfisted
Once the narcissist feels they have secured your loyalty, the spending often stops abruptly. This “Financial Devaluation” is a tactic used to lower your self-esteem. By withholding the gifts or lifestyle they once used to woo you, they force you to “perform” or “beg” for the affection and security you once had for free.