30 Things lot many Indian apartment neighbors wish to tell each other.


 1- We switch on the lights at my main door every evening but you do it rarely. If we both fix week or month and remind each other it will be a great thing.

2- Keep your door bit open if you are expecting lot of guests for dinner tonight may be my kids r studying or watching TV or May be we r lonely couple sleeping early.

3- If you are new than please note down the closest landmarks to your building and exact number of your flat n floor because your visitors, vendors and courier persons are knocking my door actually.

4- Husband wife shouting fights gives a negative impressions and quarrelsome kids too. I know how sober you behave in lift with me but I still remember last night weeping n crying you had in your family. Keep your tones n volume low.

5- Your kids love muddy shoes and clothes but I don’t so common passage should be clean always.

6- If we both share a small expense for building cleaner boy, our surroundings will be more cleaner.

7- If you wish to borrow anything please call me on phone first better than ring my doorbell. Would u like me to open door in towel or stinking hair dye on my head? Or may be I m in meditation or yoga.

8- Taste the dish before you send it to my house. If you can’t eat it than how can me and my family will eat it? I noticed the watermelon you send was outer side of fruit.

9- Please can u check with us if we are vegetarians or non vegetarians before sending anything on festivals. We love sweets indeed but we are Jains too so no biryani or kebabs please.

10-I am good heart with you and you too with me doesn’t means that I m ready to feed your dog behind your three months vacations or water your plants even. I have my own life too.

11- We spend 6 months in India and six months in our kids place in Delhi or Chennai or USA doesn’t means that we will carry 10-15 kgs goods for u in our return flights. So please don’t ask us to buy gold diamonds or expensive gadgets or spices or sweets.

12- We are newly married couple and we hate when your hubby drops in for long chats or staring my wife or your wife drops in to teach her how to keep household perfectly for long hours.

13- I m a working woman and my kids need my time in the evening so please don’t ask me to listen whole building stories or inquire about my post salary and savings etc. My mother in law never did so please you also not better bother me.

14- You have small kids and I do have so all the time your kids playing at my place is not fair. Please invite my kids too to your place.

15- If my kids wearing something less fancy at a common birthday party than please don’t point this to other neighbors. They will inform me very soon what you said.

16-If we recently moved in than please help us, inquire about us and keep your sweet mouth closed about us to others. Because after few months everything is going to come back to us whatever you may spread about us.

17- We share common maids but please don’t ask her my menu or my hubby’s habits. She is telling me all this with your inside details to get the benefits from both of us.

18- Sorry I have my own 24 hours maid doesn’t give u an impression that I m avoiding u it is simple that I don’t want to have a common servant and I want a help around me all the time.

19- I have my own style of wearing heavy embroidery saris, light chiffon, silks or western wear. I have to do nothing what way your husband looking at me. This is your own problem.

20- Toys are toys so if we have same aged kids so pl don’t make fuss about having expensive or cheap toys. One day we both will give them away.

21- We both have our own families so better not back bite to my relatives in park or lift and each other house. They will come and go back but you are ruining our daily routine of happiness.

22- You going out and handling over the keys to your main door to me. Are you sure am not going out too? May be I have my own plans.

23- You have big dog! Ok than please hire a trainer too to teach him to not to harm society kids. It may be a bit expensive but it is better than shelling out thousands if he harms any of kids later.

24-Sharing common pool doesn’t means that your kids will use entire season my kids sunscreen or allergy cream as taken for granted. I am quite but I notice it.

25- My 24 color sketches set is missing few. I am regular to your house and I saw them in your kids pencil box. Can u please ask them to return it?

26- Please don’t pressurize me to vote for your choice person in Society elections.

27- Yes we do have expensive things in our house but that is none of your business to count in our money or if we have lesser expensive things so u will point that too.

28- My Mom in law had a surgery doesn’t mean that you spread the news and force 26-27 families to drop in my house to say her hello. She needs rest.

29- Please don’t shout my name for cooking something in society party arrangements without my acceptance. Dessert for 60-70 people cost a lot and so do anything else. I know you put dessert in my name and yours to bring chapattis.

30- Stay away at a limited distance and wait for my call.We both are human being and let us treat each other like that only.

10 Reasons to plan pregnancy before 28 years age!


Shocked? Yes! Be shocked and be surprised too in the coming sentences.But yes this post is not related to those who live with parents or filthy riches.

This post is basically for those women who are crossing 30 plus, not married or married but not ready to give birth. My sincere advise.Please don’t do that. And I have solid reasons for that.

1- Your own body – Your whole body is going through a new process of developing something and taking several kinds of pains.than birth happens and again if you are working you have to struggle very hard to get back in shape. Or if you are a housewife again your whole world of eating and drinking changes within 9 months. You body is perfect 23-24-25 years to do the child birth but the moment you cross 28 years your own body is not ready for so many changes and finally it is you who is going to face all kind of major hormonal changes.Not a single person can help you.

2- Mental balances – At much younger age you are ready to adopt so many changes because you are in stages of learning. But first you get married after 28 years, already struggling to adopt new family traditions and food habits than baby happens too. Now you are in new family, having a new person in tummy and eating what is advised by doctor.Every single things requires a great balance.Listening to this, doing that and thinking something else. Your job needs attention, husband needs love and care, new family wishes to keep you around a lot but parents want everything about you to know too. Now imagine yourself how much a single person is answerable to in one single day. Yes I have not included your own hormonal changes, mood swings, body related problems and wardrobes till now.

3- Responsibility – Yup! It is not a pair of shoulders you have to share the responsibility.Not a single person in world is going to help you if you are sleeping in night an baby starts crying.You are a mother and it is your duty to feed the baby. Until and unless you have a devoted nanny like Royal or rich families.Giving birth to a baby is much easier task when you are much younger because your parents and in laws are ready to help you. They feel like kids are out of college and not experienced. But the moment girl crosses 28 years plus age they also start living comfortable life and same happens with boys parents too.New baby information can only excites them but parents actually start aging and feel like “Oh now a days every thing comes ready made, go n buy”.But yes mothers love and care is your part. Pregnancy follows a strict diet routine, self care for nine months, pre delivery hormonal changes than post pregnancy mental challenges. You will sit in bed and all world stands around you with face towards other directions.

4- Calculate the time – Like our own mothers we actually don’t have any kind of upbringing without televisions or internet. In those everything was almost pure. We are from a different kind of world with pollution and adulterated food.So when you give birth at the age of 28 plus years by the time your baby is a grown up kids in 7th or 8th and need to be in serious studies you will be around 42 years, tired with job routine or house chores.You will find difficult to get out of the bed early morning at 4 o clock to get your kid study before exams at 7.30 am.And yes again the point of responsibility pops in.As still in Indian families majority believes in mother’s part in studies. So if you are planning to give birth at 35 years think again. It is not a matter of giving or not giving birth. It is a matter of how much responsibility you can carry and what your kid will go through if you will not be able to do according to his demands.

5- Generation gap – I am 42 years and I am not able to check several things my son is learning day by day in the world of internet.One moment he is on pinterest searching for chemistry salts and by the evening he is completing a paper gun he learnt from youtube.com.It is a different kind of multitasking generation because their knowledge area as well as learning area is bigger than ours. They have a different world where they know that who is actually real master of cooking and it is not Gordon Ramsay.They know well that what is the basic difference between Xbox and PS4. 

6- Demand and supply – It is kind of cheating on baby by giving him birth after a certain age. Kids with younger parents are always more active and get continuous companionship what much older parents are not able to give actually. Until and unless you the mother is ready to leave your lucrative job and giving full time to kids. Being mother is a full time job. It demands every single moment attention. Now a days when houseboys or nursery teachers are molesting small babies even it makes mother’s life more tougher. Parenting needs mother’s full time 24 hours and every single second of those 24 hours. We have more bullying kids around to misbehave with classmates and neighbors kids because either parents are working and not ready to pay attention or they have deep up bringing insecurities. In house you will not realize it but if you are over aged parents and your kid go out to find that a much younger parent is cycling with his kid, your kid will come back home very frustrated.

7- Pampering and expenses – To conceal the age gap, lack of time and coordination with kids demand it is maximum time over aged parents who pamper their kids beyond the limits. This all makes a social pressure on other kids of society who’s parents are much younger and going through job settlements or life settlements like house loans or car loans. So by getting a baby in over age category means people are creating unknown competition and fearful atmosphere among st the kids too unknowingly. Nobody knows it so deep but being a mother I know it very well when I see a very late born only child of super rich working parents getting Iphone6s but his parents are not ready to celebrate his birthday because they are traveling for official purposes. So you should be ready for this deep thought that you want kid and when.

8- Male’s frustrations – Husband’s are maximum time managing household bills, office routines as well as parents care too. Lot many time boys get separated immediately after marriages because of wives and the moment baby comes they get separated from wives too. Physically they are there always but not emotionally they are there.They are counting the expenses, facing job problems and going through physical changes too. As the girl they got married is now super moody and not the same girl they got married. Young boys get benefits because young girls recover fast and with the help of family they create a hollow around them being young innocent mother. But older girls feel much more difficulties being into new family, without much support from boys family lot many times and own parents are now quite old too to take much stress. Finally now it is boy’s turn to feel the heat of being a massively burden person of the family.Because he is coming back to home without much attention towards him and a list of immediate requirements everyday. Baby’s medical treatments and wife’s diet. Not so easy but yes it only creates a big vacuum in relationships day by day. Every single day there is a new frustration for him. Younger boys being father get more support from fathers and in laws too. 

9- Educational acceptances – Yup having kids at younger ages means kids learn along with their parents. Falls, rises, promotions and sacrifices. But settled and over aged parents usually have their set mindsets being experienced and this is how the kids also grew up with set mentality.This creates a basic conflict with their social counterparts. Kids with younger parents see these kids as more complicated and more political ones. Kids with mature upbringing have usual tendency to bully those kids with younger parents upbringing and are not ready to accept their facts. For example mature parents kids come with a mindset that this kind of way gets more marks but much younger parents are always open to new kind of education system or tactics. even lot many parents enroll themselves with educational programs to upgrade them too. Over aged parents and working parents are less interested in attending ptms too. While younger aged parents have more tendency to attend the meetings. They are always more eager to accept the faults of the kids. So lot many times it is stress with comes as extra baggage to poor teachers.

10- Planned calculations – You need to calculate few things to finalize your family structure as early as you can. i.e.,

1- Your age at the time of child birth v/s your age at your kids graduation.

2- Your own physical risk factor for child birth related complications as just in case anything happens and you need minimum 2-4 years for treatments.

3- Your parental support as well as in laws support availability at the time of child birth.

4- Your financial capabilities to spend in heavily expensive child birth complication treatments if you are planning a kid after 30+ years.

5- Your own physical and psychological capabilities.I am simplifying things for you by writing this article. If you are not ready to understand the basic Indian social structure that is actually basic requirement for a child birth than no body in this whole world can help you later. 

6- Calculate the age gap you wish to keep in between two kids. If you are giving birth at or after 30 years than what age gap you can best give?You may end up with a lonely child because you will feel that it is a very tiring and time consuming liability. So if you plan pregnancy after 22 years to 28 years in between you will be having a balanced family of two kids and that too very happily.

Lot many Indian marriage systems allow to get married to close blood related cousins which makes things more complicated. And also please don’t go to people sayings that God will take care. Bringing a baby after 28-30 years of age is actually torturing yourself, coming years of dense parenting and putting growing up kid’s mental health in risk too by pampering for what you are not able to give him as much younger parent.

I urge you to read this article two times to understand that what I am trying to say actually. And also don’t go by those medical researches and advertisements that a women at 40 years gave birth to own child. We all are equal. We all will leave this planet one day. So if you are planning for a late birth please adopt a kid for a much better health and life rather than taking on several health complications and spending money uselessly.

All the best!

Image courtesy – Mr. Google

I put a full stop to help working women around! 


Yup, I stopped working two weeks back and my life is back to be free maid to my working neighbors. Husband and wife working and they have full time maid at home but still their list of never ending demands started back and that too shamelessly.
I have my own life and chores to do. OK? But no they dont care if I have plans to take long naps or plans to go out. And yes one single NO means you are a non cooperative movement in yourself. Why there is no law for such people that you can’t ask for more than two favors a month from your neighbor?LOl…such a great idea!Wow my imagination’s height!
Than I started discussing with my other home maker friends and found that they all are facing same kind of small or big issues with their working couple neighbors too. And trust me it is all thankless work.Working couples take is as granted. Not all but yes lot many do this and never feel ashamed at all.
1- Water my plants. ( Why are you keeping plants if you have no systematic life)?
2- Check on my pet (It includes feeding him, taking him out for strolls too).
3- Collect my groceries( It includes paying the delivery guy and keeping milk, bread and butter in my own fridge too) and also your 3-4 newspapers.
4- Find me maid (my neighbor feels I m a housewife cum free HR Manager to take interviews to explain duties and calculate salary in proportion to the work)
5- Let my relative visit by early morning flight but he / she can wait at your place for 7-8 hours for my return to home (includes tea coffee snacks and food plus using of my toilets as well as bed too).
6- Get my house clean by your maid(She will pay my maid for sure but those precious noon time nap moments you sucked out of my life?)
7- Keep my kids – It should be first point but yes I love kids a lot so hardly matters (But last time your kid had terrible cough due to that terrible food u made in hurry but you asked him “You had something in neighbor’s house? Your kid told me).Your kid slipped in school, he came back home, injured n unexpectedly early and I am the one who is keeping him.
8- Give food for my husband because you are coming late and he is at home in high fever or some fractured leg or some other problems and can’t order or move out of bed.(I am not counting those negative remarks that why I put extra butter in food to impress your husband).
9- Collect my courier – cash on delivery (Pay him and than keep reminding you like beggar to return the money I paid).
10- Let my lonely parents sit and pass time with you (Either your parents(In laws) have long stories too tell or your back biting or your request t teach them some computer but yes I had plans to chat for long with my relatives, all in water now).
Let me live my life plsssssss!

Each 12 + years plus boy must read this blog post! 

Sharing this post because I have loads of boys in family and friends who are growing up very fast. They are no more Mamma’s boys. They know a lot but still they need to learn more regarding personal hygiene and life style. Since one year being a Mom of 12 years old son I am noticing several confusions in his routine, his shynesss and his rolling eyes over tiny issues. It is obvious he is not alone.He is studies with a group of kids and all must be going through same kind of the changes. So when I stepped put of my usual Mommy skin like an advisor he was quite reluctant to hear but finally after following my advises he is more confident in stepping out. 

1- Facial shaving is not a crime – It is a very good habit to keep your face clean rather than others noticing your facial hairs with bit of laughing look. It is actually one of the worst thing you allow on your face. Either go to the barber and get the moustache look with well trimmed face or to retain chilidsh look keep your face well shaved. Not everyday but every third day you can shave if facial hairs are not much or once in a week. 


2- Clean and good smelled armpits boosts your own confidence – Do not let others point out that you smell bad. Ask parents for a deo stick. Check in the market for the longer staying mild fragranced deos. Clean n shave your armpits regularly and apply deostick. I still remember of few boys of my childhood class because their dirtiest smell only. It is very shameful and try to keep urself clean without bad smell.It is a confident posture with no smell which gives you right place in the front of others. 


3- Skin care should be top priority – Being dirty is no look. It gives own wrong impression to others. It is not expensive and can be done with few little things only. Take bath two times a day. Wash your face with water 4-5 times a day. Keep your towel and pillow seperate from others. If you are getting pimples than avoid oily things and drink loads of water. Buy one good quality facepack with mud and neem in it and apply every third in the night time.

 

4- Nobody likes stinky feet – After coming back from the school keep your feet open with slippers on. Do not roam around without slippers. Once the feet are out of shoes wash them immediately. Apply some cream if possible. Keep few unused teabags in your shoe.It will keep the smell out of them.


5- Your tiny personal hygiene like clothes, nails and hands are big issue – Trust me, well washed clean n ironed clothes are as important as well trimmed nails and soft hands are always a thing to maintain for the boys.It reflects how well behaved you are. Keeping your hands clean means you can control you facial skin problems 60% away always. So better start washing your hands more frequently. You are stepping ahead for more serious studies related to the career so keeping hands clean will keep you away from the general sicknesses too. Even your unwashed for several days pillow cover can give you accute dandruff or acne. So try to take care of your personal hygiene yourself and stay away from getting sick. 


6- Praying everyday is a must – It helps in relieving anxiety and stress from everyday routine of life. It is more than keeping a happy heart listening friend around. Building faith in religion means you are ready to take future responsibilities in a more sincere way. Talk to your mother regarding the prayers you want to do, timings and time duration.After taking bath is a good time but you can pray in the night bedtime also. 


7- Writing down your expences everyday – Maintain a dairy and try writing down your everyday  or every week’s expences. This habit will keep you aware that what are your basic expences and what are most useless expences.This habit comes in very handy in maintaining the monthly expences when you grow up. 


8- Respect to elders gives you great image in society – Your grand parents, your other elderly  relatives, your elderly neighbors, your friends relatives or anybody who is like your parents age or grand parents  age…set one great n happy way to respect all. Thsi will give you blessings, respect from others and will set your image for life long as one of the best kid on the block. It is ok to grow up like a carefree kid not paying much attentions to these kind of things but growing up into a man means you are ready to take on the world so better start with your self , with your own personality and own values for life! 


9- Last but most important point to respect the all females in your life – Start from your mother, sister, cousins, relatives wives, and outer world females i.e.  Your classmates and office colleagues later. Avoid standing or sitting too close. Control all urges if there any to touch anybody without their consent. Avoid those females or males too who want to hug you tight or call you alone to their houses. Just stay away n safe. Do not leave your younger sisters alone in house with male servants or relatives. Never use abusive words for any known or unknown females. 


All the best. 


Six healthy options for stronger heart !

Do you know recent reseraches show that in 1960s several sugar and oil industries started creating myths for locally produced healthy food options with the help of corporate medical comapnies. It helped them in boosting their sales. So here is a post which can elaborate that how beneficials is our own locally produced food options for a stronger heart. 

1- Gur (गुड़) ~ 


If you can than replace your sugar box with gur today itself. Reason is that sugar comes after a long process of chemical cleaning. It is almost like a white poison. Gur you can buy from farmers markets directly for more purvquality. Studies prove that it is very good for bones, skin and heart. 

2- Almonds (बादाम) ~ 


Almonds are best options for making vegan milk and gluten free flour. It contains anti aging vitamins and its oil is very good for skin too. By every day newest studies prove that our ancestors had great place for almonds in recipies or health related supplements because they knew it is king of food indeed. 

3- Mustard oil(सरसों का तेल) ~ 


Sarson ka tel or mustard oil was once rehected by US autgorities because of a funny point that rats were not able to digest it but 40-50 years later they came up with  new theory that it is actually very much beneficial for heart health because of unstatured fats it contains. But by that time they ruined a big oil industry already to promote highly chemicalized n cheap palm oil. Which is very harmful for heart and creates cancer cells too. So stop using cheap refind oil and use mustard oil manufactured by good company. 

4- Desi ghee(देसी घी)  ~ 


Desi ghee was produced in homes majorly in the ancient time but than lack of time in fast paced life, readymade options with loads of adulteraltion took over. If your routine allows and oil consumption is quite low  than try to make it at home. Home made is always better than market ones. Desi ghee actually boost our immune system and its fragrance give immense satisfaction in having food. 

5- Cabbagge(बंदगोभी) ~ 


Cabbage? Yes! Do you know how powerful it is for your instestines related health? It contains beneficial nutrients like vitamin C and others like manganese, dietary fiber, potassium, vitamin B1, folate, copper,choline, phosphorus, vitamin B2, magnesium, calcium, selenium, iron, pantothenic acid, protein and niacin,so high in quantity that for your intestines there is nothing else to give strength everyday. After certain age your intestines needs less fat but more green roughage for cleaning itself. Try to include it in your diet every second day. 

6- Coconut oil(नारियल का तेल) ~ 


Most beneficial oil sinces ages in India. It is said that it is even ancient before olive oil. Drink it, massagebody or make food. Use it any way but it will just give you good impact on health nothing else. One of the most beneficial thing nature gave us so far. No wonder our Indian ancestors offered it as first thing to God during rituals. 

All above things are actually belong to our own culture but we are so highly influenced by western culture that we start believing our own rituals when western researches prove that our elders were always right. Just like we have less enthusiasm in making own sweets but we order chemicals containing heavy fondants cakes for birthday parties. So better we get back to our basic health options. 



Five points to avoid clashes with abusive husband.




Divorce is not an easy solution. Breaking marriages is very easy but resettlement for women is very smooth path in the life ahead. So lot many times staying in very humiliating and abusive marriages is more than difficult. But trust me it is lot many times easier than we can think even. Here is mentioned few points to keep in your mind before taking any hard decision. Specially if you have kids around. 

1- Be financially strong – Do whatever you can do. Keep money in hand. Your own money. Save it and see yourself that how calm n strong in mind you are getting day by day. Just avoid showing it off. Spend it wisely and in the time of need only. Money gives a great strength and confidence. 

2- Avoid direct contact – Eye contact, physical contact or telephonic talks. Cut all the cords and talk through kids if possible. Sex for patching up is very devastating and shallow thing to do. Just avoid it at all cost. 

3- Keep your head high – Be busy. Just stay out of context and spend time on yourself. Your hobnies, your dreams, your friends and your own privacy. Start spending time with yourself more rather than begging for his attention. Just stay focus and be happy in your mind. 

4- Stay well – Feel nourished. Take milk, high fiber diet and nuts. Go for small walks, join a gym or do excercises at home. Look at funny videos, try something new in perfumes and cuddle few pets of other. Tiniest sparks of joy can change your mood. Stay well and treat yourself in happy way. 

5- Show the big picture to the kids – If you have kids too than talk to them a lot. Plan with them about their future aspiration, their likes and dislikes. Tell them about teamwork, happiness of small things in the life, helping others and if possible than join some social work with them. Let them learn one thing that world is not about one abusive person’s useless grudges. 

It is about mental insecurities which creates most abusives spouses. There are lot of things of their past background which reflect in their present abusive behaviour. Try to avoid over induldgence with them. Let them handle their own emotional baggae of the past. Just stay calm n happy. Focus on yourself and your life. Try to stay positive about your approach towards the life. 

क्या आपने बताये अपनी जीवनसाथी को आकस्मिक जीवन संघर्ष में विजयी होने के ये दस उपाय? 


चौंक गए आप? जी हाँ कोई भी चौंक ही जायेगा ये पोस्ट पढ़ के. असल में मैं एक फेसबुक पेज की एडमिन हूँ जहाँ रोज़ ही लोगों की छोटी छोटी सामाजिक या पारिवारिक समस्याओं का निदान करती हूँ. यकीन मानिये कई समस्याएं ऐसी होती हैं की बहुत बुरा लगता है की पति अपनी पत्नी को जीवन रहते कई बातो के बारे मैं नहीं बताते हैं और अगर कभी कुछ अकल्पनीय हो जाता है तो ये सारी महिलाएं लालची रिश्तेदारों या फिर महालालची एजेंट लोग के शोषण का शिकार होती हैं. 
एक जिम्मेदार पति की तरह अगर आपने अपनी पत्नी को वाकई परेशानियों में घिरे नहीं देखना चाहते तो आज ही ये पोस्ट पढ़के उन्हें जागृत कीजिये. उन्हें बताईये की कौन कौन से काम उनको समझने चाहिए और अपनी चेकलिस्ट में देखते रहना चाहिए. उनको इन सारी जिम्मेदारियों में भागीदार बनाइये और सचेत रखिये ताकि वो कभी भी जिंदगी में भ्रमित न हों. अकेले अपने दम पे खड़ी हो सकें. कभी भी कहीं भी. 
१- बचत के फायदे – चाहें नौकरों की तनख्वाह हो या फिर रियायती पेट्रोल पम्प से ही पेट्रोल डलवाना. अपनी पत्नी को बताते रहे की एक एक पैसा कीमती हैं. घर का महीने भर का सामान लाना हो या फिर बिजली का सही और किफायती उपयोग करना हो, हर चीज़ में ये न कहें की खूब इस्तेमाल करो मैं हूँ न. महीने में बचत के नए नए उपाय बताएं. उनकी हर छोटी कोशिश की तारीफ भी करते रहे. फिक्स्ड डिपाजिट करनी हो या फिर sip करनी हो म्यूच्यूअल फंड्स में. अपनी पत्नी को बताएं की टॉप म्यूच्यूअल फंड्स में तीन साल में इन्वेस्ट करने के क्या फायदे हैं और पांच साल में क्या फायदे हैं. उनको प्रेरित करें की महीने की sip शुरू करें और अच्छे म्यूच्यूअल फंड्स में पैसे लगाएं. 
२- शैक्षणिक सर्टिफिकेट, जमीन जायदाद और महीने के बिल्स के महत्व – अपने सारे महत्वपूर्ण कागजों को बेहद करीने से फ़ोल्डर्स में लगाके तालाबंद ड्रावर्स में रखें. हर महीने सरे कागज़ निकाल के अपनी पत्नी के साथ उनपे परामर्श करें. उनको बताएं की बिजली पानी के बिल कहाँ और कैसे जमा होते हैं, वेबसाइट्स द्वारा भी जमा किये जा सकते हैं. जमीन जायदाद में क्या क्या इन्वेस्टमेंट हैं, उनकी कीमत कैसे तय होती हैं, शैक्षणिक सर्टिफिकेट्स की फोटोकॉपी जरूर अलग से रखें और मूल प्रति किसी को भी न दें. हमेशा फोटोकॉपी ही दें. 
३- मेडिकल हिस्ट्री – अपना खुद का, बच्चों का और पत्नी का नियमित रूप से सम्पूर्ण मेडिकल जांच करवातें रहे और सारी रिपोर्ट्स के बारे में पत्नी को भी सब कुछ बताते रहे. एक अच्छे हॉस्पिटल में बढ़िया डॉक्टर्स से जान पहचान रखें और ज्यादा डॉक्टर्स पे चक्कर लगा के परिवार जनो को कभी भी भ्रमित न करें. आपकी पत्नी को हर उस चीज़ के बारे में बताएं जिससे आपको एलर्जी हैं. 
४- रिश्तेदारों और मित्रों के बारे में – कम से कम दो ऐसे रिश्तेदारों के लगातार संपर्क में रहे जो आपके भले के बारे में सोचते हों. अपनी जीवन साथी को हर वो बात बताएं जोकि जरुरी हो. कई बार कोई छोटी सी बात भी आगे जेक बड़ा रूप ले सकती हैं. जिस रिश्तेदार की कोई महिला संबंधी उल जलूल हरकत हो या फिर चोरी की आदत, ये चीज़ें हो सकता हैं की बाद में भी आदत में हों. इन चीज़ों को इग्नोर न करें. ध्यान में रखें. और जांच करते रहे की ऐसे लोगों से दूरी ही बना के रखें चाहें वो कटना भी मीठा व्यव्हार न करें. ऐसे लोग अक्सर काफी हंसोड़ होने का दिखावा करते हैं. 
५- नियमति आय और घरेलु खर्चों की महत्वता – आपकी कितनी इनकम हैं और कितना खर्च होता हैं इसे रोज़ या फिर हर दूसरे दिन लिखते रहे. अपनी पत्नी को बताएं की कम खर्चे में भी घर कैसे चलाया जा सकता हैं. उनको बताएं की अगर बैंक अकाउंट में ६० लाख से ज्यादा रुपए हैं, जेवर हैं और खुद का घर भी हैं तो किसी भी स्थिति में एक या दो बच्चों के साथ आराम से मध्यमवर्गीय परिवार चल सकता हैं. बशर्ते की बहुत ज्यादा ऊपर के खर्चे न किये जाएँ. कितना ब्याज मिलेगा और किस तरह से ज्यादातर काम खुद करके पैसा बचाया जा सकता हैं. 
६- घरेलु चीज़ों की देखभाल और मरम्मत – जितना भी काम आपको आता उन्हें सिखाईये. कई बार गलत किस्म के लोग इन्ही बातो का फायदा उठा ले जाते हैं. गाड़ी चलाना हो, स्टेपनी बदल देना हो या फिर प्रेस ठीक करना हो या फिर बल्ब चेंज करना हो. फ्यूज चेंज करना हो या फिर बंद नाली खोलना हो, किसी मैकेनिक या प्लम्बर को बुलाने से पहले खुद करना सिखवायें. 
७- एक्स्ट्रा इनकम के उपाय – ये सारी बातें में उन मध्यमवर्गीय महिलाओं को ध्यान में रख के बता रही हूँ जोकि नौकरी नहीं करती और न ही कोई प्रोफेशनल डिग्री होल्डर होती हैं की आराम से नौकरी कर लें. तो हमेशा ये बात ध्यान में रखें की अपनी पत्नी को कोई छोटा मोटा काम जरूर करते रहने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करें जिससे वो कुछ आमदनी करती रहे. उनको कहें की वो अपना पैसा बैंक में जमा करें खरचें नहीं. ये बहुत छोटी सी पर जरुरी बात हैं जोकि कभी कभी बहुत ज्यादा काम आती हैं. 
८- कपडों पे और सजावट पे कम खर्च – ये दो बहुत फालतू चीज़ें हैं जिनसे कभी भी मन नहीं भरता हैं और महीने की कमाई का सबसे ज्यादा पैसा खा जाती हैं. इन चीज़ों को शुरू से ही कण्ट्रोल में रखने की आदत डालें. पर जब भी जरुरी हो तो ही लें. दूसरों से होड़ के चक्कर में अपना धन वेस्ट न करें. घर में दो डिनर सेट से काम चलता हो तो ५-६ डिनर सेट रखने की क्या तुक हैं? ज्यादा मेहमान न आते हों तो ज्यादा क्राकरी भी न खरीदें. ये सारे निर्णय आपस में मिल बैठ के ही लें और सबकी पसंद का भी ध्यान रखें. 
९ – फालतू सामान और फालतू मेहमानों से छुटकारा – कभी भी घर में फालतू सामान इकठ्ठा न होने दें. अपनी पत्नी को बताएं की लंबी अवधि के लिए आने वाले फालतू मेहमानों से बचें और उनको किसी भी तरह का बढ़ावा न दें. थोड़ी सी प्रशंसा के लिए ढेर सारी जिम्मेदारियां और पैसा खर्च करना महा बेवकूफी होती है. इसी तरह फ़ालतू सामान घर में इकठ्ठा न होने दें. अखबार, कपडे, जूते आदि हो सब नियमित रूप से बाहर निकलने की आदत डालें. 
१०- किसी पे भी भरोसा न करें – किसी भी आकस्मिक स्थिति में वो खुद पे भरोसा रखें क्योंकि ऐसी स्थिति में प्राकृतिक रूप से हर व्यक्ति ज्यादा सोचने लगता है. अपने जीवन साथी को समय समय पे भरोसा दें की वो काबिल हैं और अपनी देखभाल खुद कर सकती हैं. उनको किसी भी सादे कागज़ पे हस्ताक्षर करने से मना कर दें. किसी को भी ज्यादा पास न आने दें. न ही किसी को आपने बैंक, जमीन जायदाद या जेवर की जानकारी दें. उनको बताएं की रिश्तेदारो से संभल के और काफी कम बात करें.कई बार अगर ऐसी बातें करने में दिल दुखे तो किसी और की कहानी बनाके उनको बताएं की ऐसी स्थिति में क्या करना नुकसानदायक होता है. किसी भी तरह का प्रेशर लेके काम न करें. 
कई बार हम वो बातें जनता को कहते हैं जो खुद पे गुजरी होती है. हो सकता है की जब हमपे गुजरी हो तो हमको कई बातें न पता हो पर जब तक अक्कल आयी तो काफी समय गुजर चुका होता है और पछताने के आलावा कुछ नहीं बचता है. 

अलीगढ बहुत याद आता है!



अलीगढ की सड़कें, बाजार, लोग और माहौल आज भी वैसा ही है जैसा मैं ग्यारह साल पहले छोड़ आयी थी. नोएडा शिफ्ट होते ही जैसे भूल गयी थी इस शहर को. पर अब साल में अगर एक बार जाना होता है तो शहर से बाहर निकलते ही दम निकलता है. यहाँ की यूनिवर्सिटी की सड़क हो या फिर घनी गलियां हो जहाँ की सड़कें हर वक़्त जाम रहती हैं. हर सड़क की अपनी ही खुशबु है. जो सालों गुजर जाने पे भी नहीं बदली है. खाना तो यहाँ ऐसा मिलता है की लखनऊ के कारीगरों को टक्कर देती मिठाईयां हों या फिर करीम दिल्ली वालों को चुनौती देती मट्टन रसेदार भरी कटोरी हो. अलीगढ बस अलीगढ ही है. छोटा है पर अपने आप को संभाले है. 

गर्मियों में आम के ठेले भरी सड़कें तो सुलगती अंगीठी पे सिकते भुट्टे हों यहाँ हर सुबह कचोरी, आलू की सब्ज़ी और सन्नाटे नाम से ख्यात पतला बूंदी का रायता हर सड़क पे बिकता मिल जायेगा. गुल्लू जी की गली तक पहुँच जाएँ आप तो अग्रवाल स्वीट्स की मिठाईओं के क्या कहने. बेसन के लड्डू हो या फिर चूरमे के लड्डू बस अंगुलिया चाटने पे मजबूर हो जायेंगे. वहीँ से थोड़ा आगे बढ़ेंगे तो एवन वालों की ताज़ी नमकीन की दूकान मन मोह लेती है. वहां की नमकीन खा के आपको पता चलेगा की बड़ी ब्रांड की नमकीन कितनी ख़राब होती है. नमकीन बंधवा के मैं हमेशा उपरकोट की दुकानों से बारीक सेवइयां जरूर लेती हूँ क्योंकि वहां तुरंत की बनी सेवइयां बहुत ही बढ़िया होती हैं. 

सिविल लाइन्स में स्टेट बैंक के सामने आलू टिक्की चाट और थोड़ा सा आगे जाने पे कुंजी लाल की बालूशाही हो या फिर विकास स्वीट्स की उम्दा मिठाईयां बस मन सा मोह लेती हैं. पर सुनार गली की शिब्बू की कचोरी का कोई मुकाबला ही नहीं. शाम को फूल चौराहे पे गणेश चाट वाले के जाके चाट और गोल गप्पे कहना तो बहुत ही प्रसिद्ध है. 

पर जिन लोगो को नॉन वेज खाना पसंद है उनके लिए तो आमिर निशा का मार्किट और रसलगंज का रास्ता स्वर्ग समान है. क्वालिटी की नॉन वेज थाली और चॉकलेट पेस्ट्री भी कम प्रसिद्ध नहीं है. वो मट्टन को या चिकन को मसाले में ही पकाते हैं. पैसा वसूल थाली उन्ही के यहाँ मिलती है. 

अलीगढ जाईये कभी, बहुत बढ़िया खाना मिलता है वहां.



~ज्यादा वजन तुरंत घटाने के सरल उपाय~


१- चटाई पर बिना तकिया लगाए सोना शुरू करें. इससे त्वचा को फैलने का मौका नहीं मिलता और ज़मीन के संपर्क से शरीर की चेतना वजन नहीं बढ़ने देती. 

२- हमेशा सादा या गर्म पानी पियें. ठंडा पानी बिलकुल पीना बन्द कर दें.

३- रोटी, चावल तेल मख्हन और आलू का सेवन न करें. रोज़ बंदगोभी के सब्ज़ी हलकी नमक मिर्च की जरूर खाएं. 

४- कोशिश करें की नाश्ते में फल सब्ज़ी दलिया दही उबला अंडा ही हो बस.

५- शाम पांच बजे के बाद कुछ भी न खाएं. सिर्फ सब्ज़ी दाल का सूप पियें. 

६- बीस मिनट सुबह और बीस मिनट शाम को जरूर टहलें. 

7- पहले हफ्ते से ही आपको बहुत हल्का और अच्छा महसूस होने लगेगा.  

Before starting for your honeymoon check these points.


I was prompted to write this article after my recent trip to Far East which included multiple countries visit with family. In Phuket we were on a cruise ship and it was full of several honeymooners too. It was a pretty long trip to Phi Phi Island and during this we noticed several good and bad incidents of those newly married couples. Finally thought of jolting down some hints for the honeymooners. I hope this article will be of some help. 

1- Choose you shoes wisely. If your honeymoon includes loads of walking and trips beach, you need a pair of flat slippers and sport shoes nothing else. Every inch of heel will create health nuisance for you. Just think of comfort not fashion. 

2- Choose your clothing well. If your skin is fair and sensitive than stay covered rather than showing off the skin. May be your little ignorance will create big skin problems for you. 

3- Keep basic medicines like antiseptic skin ointment, fever and pain killers alongwith band aid and sunscreen lotion.

4- Cotton napkins or small hand towels are more useful and handy rather than tissue papers. 

5- No matter how much your spouse loves you but disorganized stuff pissed everybody off. Same with stinky body too. So try to be well organized and clean always. Carry deo sticks n perfumes. 

6- If travelling to abroad than try to follow all local rules and ethics. Travelling to Srilanka and try to roam in bikini or short dresses is not appropriate. Check on travel sites for dress codes in temples or other religious places if they are included in your trip.

7- Try to avoid any bad habit of throwing garbage here n there or staring at other females. People around you will feel bad for you and your spouse too. 

8- Shoplifting or stealing from the hotels is big image spoiler too. So never even thought of doing it. 

9- If you are love married than carry some books with you because sometime you want to be alone. Same with arranged married couples. Just carry some extra power banks fully charged to avoid blank mobiles. 

10- Do not try to dominate your spouse for small issues. If he/she want to try new kind of food let them try without creating scene in front of big crowds. 

11- Do not buy big objects like hats etc. They will create big problems while packing. Buying fruits means you will end up in gooey things because cargo always goes to non ac area where fruits ripe within 1-2 hours and start perishing. 

12- Avoid useless heavy shopping. Do balanced equal shopping for each other’s relatives. 

13- Keep calling back home for limited minutes without giving long details to avoid embarrasment to spouse. Long calls means you are spending money uselessly.

14- Treat your hotel room as others property without creating any visible dirtiness. If you are using protections than throw it in garbage bin well wrapped in the tissue papers. 

15- Check all walls, art objects and doors in the hotel room for the hidden cameras.Be safe. Try to book a good hotel.

16- Try to book everything directly rather than through agencies. 

Happy journey!